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2018 in a Nutshell

When 2018 started, I felt positive that everything is coming my way but I was wrong; I've seen things differently and that hit me hard. I saw my friend grieved before her dying father, my own grandfather coming next who I haven't kept in touch for quite a long time, and lost three more important people I hold dear. I also started my internship with a nongovernment organization which involves a lot of forums with the marginalized and rallies to attend, more readings and research. The final output was research about the fisherfolks in Cordova, Cebu. I also joined a vocation awareness I never thought I would be in and even not understanding myself more; believe me when I tell you that 2018 transformed me into something I am not. I barely held on the fact that we do our life choices but in this case of several unfortunate events, it came not so well. I never pictured myself as a bitch who would curse a lot (I swear I don't do that often; I only curse in my mind) but I was able to do those and other things I didn't expect to do. I oversaw things and that needs more reflection.

When I started my internship with the NGO I was assigned to, I felt more compassion and understanding to the marginalized. I heard their stories and what they are fighting for. And this is something I'd like to do in ten years; to fight with them at any cost. Stand with them whole-heartedly.

hello, i'm still alive.

Hi! I'm still here.

It's 12:57am and I'm still thinking of my paper due later at 8:30am. I haven't finished reading the article but here I am, typing these words while the silence fills in. My best friend's sleeping on the floor (she chose to, wag kayong ano). I am already sleepy yet I still have to finish this~~~~

I miss the old blogging atmosphere where everyone is still actively updating their blogs on a weekly basis, write more intimate stuff where I found myself relating to and of course, write Friday's 10 Happy Things (I miss ditz-revolution, ok?). Circa 2015. The last time I knew everyone still update their blogs was 2016. I think people now are busier than ever?! OMG, please update your blogs, people. I miss reading stuff. I miss those who leave comments on my blog posts. Vv.

These days have been so hard for me yet I am trying to grasp the thought that I'll be graduating in a few weeks. I still have deadlines to catch up, paperwork to be done, my thesis to finish, critique analysis overdue--help me, God. Help me, universe. I did my all. I JUST WANT TO FINISH EVERYTHING ACADEMIC RELATED!!!

To my crush-- please come home! Literal na bahay, ha. Di ako bahay.

Legazpi City, Albay-- MAULI NA AKO SOON!!!!!!! HALAT LANGGGG!!! 💕

Okay, before I end this post, let me share to you two mottos I keep reminding myself:

"life is what you make it," - Ms. Pecks Nolasco

"tangina, gagraduate ako!" - kai and her fellow DASH hopefuls, 2018

The Sunday Currently #2

Happy Sunday, y'all! I feel light today because we're done with the laundry last night plus I've got to eat Korean foods with my high school classmates--I think they're still drunk hahaha except Dothy who already left for Manila today.

Reading - This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz. I didn't finish The Book With No Pictures by BJ Novak because it bored me. Tomorrow I'll read three chapters from my environmental sociology class.  I have to because I need to pass this subject.

On My Radar: Films To Watch (September-October)

I didn't renew my Netflix account because our TV keeps on dimming off every 5 hours (we don't know why) and watching movies on a laptop or desktop is destructing because I tend to close the tab and sleep instead. Meanwhile, I got curious about Before Sunset after my friend Lianne suggested it to me. I even looked for a downloadable link but to my surprise, I can't find one. Anyway, let's get into my films to watch this September...or early October!

For Another Lifetime, Part I

Meeting people and actually losing them is one of the things I am afraid of. Maybe because I have held on from the thought that what was once could still be brought back (given that I am very hopeful) or I've attached myself to them so bad they became part of my routine. There are people I never wanted to lose and I keep them in a box called, "for keeps" and the people I am very thankful I have let go or thankful that they just left with a box labeled, "thankful". I may have lost these people because either they are toxic or they are not really meant to stay but that doesn't mean the anger I felt was gone. Forgiveness comes after, though. 

Letter From A Sometimes Niece

Waking up at 6am for daily prayer is still a problem for me even with an alarm clock. Breakfast at the convent somehow creeps me out because I do not know how to greet the sisters a good morning. I watch them eat one by one and you would share your favorite peanut butter with me or make a hot chocolate milk even before I sit.

If I We're a Cat I Wouldn't Have These Problems

EVERYDAY TRAFFIC. Metro Cebu is very traffic! Travel time from our house to my school is just 45 minutes but with this never-ending problem in traffic, it usually takes an hour and a half or worst two! I hate waking up very early in the morning especially the first subject professor is not around! Consolacion to Talamban travel is not a joke!!!

SKIN CARE ROUTINE. I don't really have a skincare routine except washing my face with Dove soap. Lately, my pimples pop out one by one and I'm creeping out because I have zero knowledge when it comes to things like this!

My First Film Rolls

Hi, how are you doing? I realized that I haven't been touching my blog for quite some time now. Life's been busy and I am making most of it. Aside from the hiatus, I'm still contemplating whether to continue blogging or just quit.

Anyway, end of the drama. Last three weeks ago, I finally decided to have my film developed from Fujifilm Quicksnap Flash 400 I bought from The Film Collective. I loved the results of my rolls and finally decided to save up for a film camera.